Not like anything seems normal when it is pitch black out at 6 a.m. (to me anyway). We were in the park by like 6:15 and of course it was empty otherwise because it was raining and windy. So, this person comes into the first gate (it’s a big double gate entrance) and just stood right at the gate, totally not saying anything or looking at me, just staring at Rocky.
I was waiting for her to say something, but she only spoke to him and very low, but pretty constant. She came in slowly and kind of awkwardly pet him. I kept looking to make eye contact and say hi, nothing. I eventually said morning! in my usually overly exuberant a.m. voice. (It’s this weird thing -I used to force myself to do because otherwise I looked so miserable in the pre-noon hours. Now that I am a morning person of some sort, it just sticks, but I always cringe at myself when I do it).
No response. She got a little closer, but still like facing away, so AWKWARD. I tried to ask a couple different things, like how are you, what are you upto (in the dog park with no dog in the rain, you know? WTF?- was implied). She didn’t respond but finally just said he is so cute. She and Rocky were kind of taking turns following each other around. Strangely enough, normalcy cop Trixie cared only for her ball. She watched her, but didn’t go near her or stop balling.
The girl (probably like late 20s-ish?) finally said, “I just like to see the dogs. I miss my mom and her cats.” I said something, not sure what, something about Rocky. She was really not there or listening to me at all. I felt bad for her and just let her be, kind of? I was a little scared she would get stabby or something. She stayed for like 10 more minutes of total weirdness. Then left and went to the other side where one woman and dog had come. Then they all left and she walked quickly and purposefully through the park a couple times, like among the people going to work and running like she was one of them (but clearly was not).
A half hour later she came back and she and Rocky did their little dance. She talked in this low voice the whole time, like she was on the phone and telling a story. But she was talking to Rocky and there was no phone. I was kind of glad he was there for her. Like something brought her to the dog park in the rain, fully dressed for the day. Whether she had no place to go, or had a place she couldn’t bear, I don’t know. It made me feel bad about feeling bad for myself. Though I am having a pretty shitty month or three. I tried to get her before she left both times to see if she needed help getting somewhere, but she was totally unresponsive like she didn’t hear me and kept going. But I am pretty sure she did hear me. No stabby time, so I guess we are fine. Maybe I just needed to see someone more lost than I am? Who needed Rocky in that moment like I always need him? So I would know how lucky I am? I do not know. He is the best, just a reminder….
I have a problem. I never get sick of this song. In the morning, running, anytime. Love it.
You know what’s so weird? It’s in my music on my phone (Doubletwist) which I synced with my itunes and vice versa, but this song is nowhere to be found even though I listen to it all the time. There are like 20 songs which appear in neither list, but I listen to somehow. Super f-ed up, no? Confusion.
Two dreams. Three words. Dean Winchester. Pitbull. WTF?
First one was fine. Just went hunting w/Dean and some other guy (not Sam/Jared, I think maybe Garth, ugh). And then to a buffet, of course. lol. My family was there and I was like, sorry, I have to hang out with Dean/Jensen. It was back and forth between the two, like I wasn’t sure which was really him. Nothing exciting, besides of course, me going and getting all the food and delivering it to him. Then asking him to buy me a diet coke. Like if that was all I really did with alone time with that guy? I am seriously a loser. Other than that it was pretty vague.
Dog woke me up at like 3. Went back to sleep.
Second dream, pretty sure I have Seacrest to thank for. I was watching the third day of the 24 marathon on DirectTv and I was like, maybe I should watch one of these New Year’s Eve thingies for a few minutes at least. All I saw was the end of a Pitbull performance then they went to local news.
Cut to the dream. For some reason Pitbull and I were hanging out, ascot and all and I decided I had to go home. Of course, he wanted to come. Evidently I lived in this house and rented the top two floors. The landlord was the best friend of this asshole guy I used to see. So short and lame and a total dick. Anyway, Pitbull and I get home and who is in my apartment? Asshole guy! Of course it was a little awkward for me and him and the random teenaged brother of the landlord. Pitbull was all exuberant and Pitbull-ish. Suddenly I panicked and said I had to get something out of the car because I didn’t know whether he liked to be introduced as Pitbull or my his real name and I didn’t/don’t know his real name. So I stayed outside, knowing with his outgoing personality (I knew him so well somehow) that he would introduce himself.
Went back in and it was so funny. He was trying to be cool but the dick guy was so jealous and like embarrassed (of course). In my dream I knew he felt inadequate, lol. It was like how you want to run into every asshole guy. I wish it was in the first dream and was Jensen, because come on. But I would take Pitbull. He is okay, kind of cute, I guess. And a zillionaire. I’d hit it. (I love when he raps in Spanish. Which I will never repeat.) And when I was sufficiently pleased with the whole thing I told jerkoff and random teen that since they hadn’t given 24 hours notice, they couldn’t be in my place by law and we wanted to be alone, all obvious like. SMOOTH. Then we were alone and stuff started, kind of. That’s all I remember.
No clue why that was so vivid. All I had before bed was 24 and melatonin. Anyway, both dreams were pretty funny. Happy New Year to me. Hopefully they were actually premonitions. Except for those huge sausage patty sandwiches I made for Dean. They were gross.
I just screamed like a girl for the first time (I think?)
We have a getting home ritual. When we get to the steps, Trixie goes up the steps and sits down like this picture. Rocky stands lengthwise in front of the steps and I take his leash off and he waits until I pet him. Then I step over him and open the door and put Trixie in. Rocky then goes up the steps around me and stands in front of me again for petting. So while we were just doing this after lunch, all of a sudden his hair goes up. I look over my shoulder and a humungous boxer jumps up at me. I screamed so loud I didn’t even realize it was me. It really wasn’t a big deal, it was the boxer from down the alley and he is a sweet goof. But JESUS I somehow did not see him coming. I put the dogs in and went back out to the store. I didn’t realize til I went back out that my heart was pounding and I was shaking. It’s funny now, but i haven’t been that scared in a while. And at no time did I see a human, even after i screamed. I know the owner hits that poor dog too, I should have just put him in my house.
A little over a week ago a neighbor called me because he was out by himself. She found his owner before I got home, but it’s frustrating that strangers care more. I know the guy and he is okay. He actually has a can for everyone and leaves notes for people who don’t clean up. It’s the bitch girlfriend who doesn’t clean up and doesn’t come out. I’ve been dying to tell him that I saw his dog go right outside my house. She watched and then called him home, so it’s not like she didn’t see it. But he’s not great, either. He is super nice to me (a little too nice sometimes if you know what I mean. He offers me drugs all the time. Sweet. Then he forgets. Then he tells me he sells drugs and more. One time i asked what and he said stereos. How fucking random is that?
RELATED: A couple nights ago I couldn’t sleep and I took extra Melatonin and benedryl. All night I felt like I was conscious, but I was kind of dozing i guess. (Dozing is a weird word, right?) And all of a sudden this huge big headed pit bull jumped on my bed. Trixie jumped up and so did Rocky, right from where they were all night. I got up and saw it was an unneutered male and tried to grab him.
I didn’t want him to challenge Rocky, who would never back down. And I ran to make sure the cats were up high. AND OMG there was another one in the hallway and the door was opening- #3 was on the steps (the same steps where the boxer just jumped up on me!). It was chaos. And then I could feel myself fighting to wake up but I was stuck with all these dogs who were posturing, in my tiny house with no doors to shut (easily).
I finally came to as one dog, no idea which was lunging at my face (just like the boxer! but not to lick like him). But everything was exactly as it was in reality in my dream, none of the usual alterations. Trixie and Rocky and Bobby were still in the same place. So, I do think i was semi-conscious. But it was so freaky. A premonition? Just kidding, but weird, no?
So, wait. We somehow just ran 6 miles in 58 minutes.
Not that it’s groundbreaking, but I thought we stopped a lot and were just taking it slow. I have a cold and didn’t really sleep. I just wanted to get over 5 and be done. Ended up not doing too badly. We stopped at Rittenhouse, too. Anyway, at least I know I didn’t lose too much speed or distance with the foot thing. Not like I am fast, but I like to stay around 10 to be safe and no clue how I got under it today. Well, I guess it will help me deal with Monday a little better. My music app is messed up, I added all this 90s stuff last week and that’s all it played today. I felt like I should be running with a flannel shirt around my waist. Would have helped keep my pants up, my long running pants are crazy big. Which is good and bad. But the beast is tired. I was wondering why she was dragging so much…
We were cutting through the barriers and crap to get around the sinkhole - probably illicitly (?). (probably=meaning we went around all the “do not enter” and “sidewalk closed” signs) Anylawbreakingway, Rocky really wanted to go down there. While I was standing there, my like 12 year old self agreed with him. There’s stuff to climb on, to balance on, random things to inspect and maybe some sort of treasure. Thinking I’ll go back later. Anyone want to join?
Obviously, I am not doing that but it did seem weird that I thought it might be fun, you know?
Not to mention her eyeballs, which freak me out. She’s a lovely girl and if we hadn’t been watching this show for two years probably they wouldn’t seem so wrong — they’re normal shaped, they’re in the right places on her face — but it’s like one of those Tumblr pictures where they put mouths where the eyes should be, or turn the whole face upside-down on the front of a head. We don’t know these eyeballs, so they are stranger eyeballs, in the middle of a face we’ve come to know and love. The Geordi LaForge Effect. I haaaaate it, and I hate even more the fact that a normal, pretty girl’s pretty face makes me feel like I am losing my mind just by existing. Such is the power of the sunglasses.
I totally thought this. I couldn’t get over the fact that she looked like a different person. I think they lightened her hair too? I don’t know. It’s weird. She is weird. And her eyeballs- WEIRD! And I am going to keep wearing my sunglasses 24/7 so I don’t WEIRD people the hell out.
Okay. So I was going to post the Radiohead I’ve been listening to and why- it was the only CD I liked from the department collection we were limited to when I worked at the Inquirer. It was either pick one there or put freaking XPN back on. XPN back then- my worst nightmare. It might be better, but I’ll never get over the blood loss my ears suffered at their expense during that dark time at the best job I ever had (or ever will). SO EVERY TIME it was my turn all I had was The Bends. I also had a better story about Mr. Wendal which I finally got too. Nope. Time to get REAL! (not really, thanks)
But anyway- i am going waaaayyy out of character and admitting I love THIS song. It’s not my style, I don’t know where it came from. It’s all cute and sweet and gross. But it was in one of the collections I got downloading music for 4 hours. And for the first time ever, it was something I liked. I don’t know where it comes from, my affection for this song, but here it is. I will say, it doesn’t hurt that he looks like THAT either. Pretty sure he is number 1 in the hat wearing department. And usually the clothes department. I had to look at a bunch of pics before I found the one for the LP. I suggest it to anyone as a pasttime.
Pretty cute, huh? The Malaysian primitive breed, the Telomian, max out at 28 lbs. It’s so weird to think of indigenous breeds in Malaysia for me, because I think of their climate as being opposite of dog friendly. Obviously, that is exposing a whole bunch of ignorance on my part. But not totally wrong, because I think of it as mainly jungle, and that is where these guys hunt. The other wildlife is so dangerous that the houses/huts are on stilts and that’s why/how they learned to climb, to get home.
I always think, primitive dogs, not usually people dogs, more prey-oriented (like that singing dog from NZ) but these are supposedly good companions for kids. And pretty cute and fuzzy. Here is a NZ singing dog (doing her singing thang), also cute, but more wild looking (and acting, per reports)